So far so good? Nope! So far no good!!!

I went to dinner with my girlfriends tonight. It was TT's birthday and we went to Lucianos. I got there late after a string of things that just was NOT going my way. After dinner we broke off in groups and the aim was to go home. I was with two friends and well we walked and talked and then sat in the car and talked some more. Alot of the common topics came up, work, money, men, and our futures. While talking I said " Who would have thought that a medical degree would mean nothing?". As I made this statement the realization hit me. I am 32, I successfully completed medical school and recieved a medical degree, thats it!!! I came back home to The Bahamas to work as a physician. I have spent time in the Obstetrics and Gynecology Department, I spent time in the Internal Medicine Department, and now I am getting some experience in the Emergency Department. Out of the four years since I have graduated it was a slap in the face to realize that I have nothing to show for what I have been doing. Granted I have gained alot of experience. I have learnt quite alot about the medical field. I am still learning today as I encounter new things in the Emergency Room. However, other than the experience, the tears, the long calls, the sleepless nights, the complete and utter frustration as your seniors disrespect you, oh and I wont forget the deteriorating health...really what do I have to show for my last four years. I was not in a residency program so I do not have any certification to show for my time. This thought depresses me to say the least. Now this is not the end of the road and there are options out there for me. I can make it my goal to put 200% into getting myself sorted out to apply to a residency program somewhere, The US, Austrailia, The UK, South Africa, The Caribbean. I sit here and as this realization penetrates to every fiber of my being, I am recieving an internal motivation to get off of my laurels and do something about not having anything. So despite having done so much so far; my present state is so far NO good. I vow tonight however, to make it to so far so good!!!