Apprehension.....

The Christmas of 02 was a rough one for me. First thing I think now is why in the world would it have been rough. I was spending my christmas in Trinidad with one of my best friends. We went from fete to fete and danced til our legs were sore. However, my heart was broken into a million pieces. That story is for another blog. Anyway, I took to the book that January while still in Trinidad. I poured out so many poems, and creative pieces. One of which I still look back on and smile. This piece I called apprehension because I wanted the readers to feel expectant of a great misfortune when reading the piece. So from my mind to your eyes.... A shot rang through the air; shattering the silence of the night. It sang songs of an inevitable future; taunting me and saying it was time. Silence resumed, but it was even more deafening. And I waited. As the beads of sweat kissed my brow, the rhythmic pounding in my ears grew louder. The song seemed vaguely familiar with a profound ancient lure. I looked around for the source of the music. I swallowed with a parched throat as realization hit me. The beating congo was with in me. it pounded out an erratic and hypnotizing beat. With each beat everything before me began to swim as if I were looking into a kaleidescope. I closed my eyes to ward off the vertigo. With my eyes closed in vain, my dark world continued to dance to the beating of my heart, and I waited. A foreign rasp was added to my internal music. It fell constantly out of beat and made the darkness spin faster. Closing my mouth I tried to control the rasp as the air rapidly was being sucked in and out. With my lips pinched together my mouth gave in to a desire to dance. The trembling moved down from my lips in what seemed to be a heated wave. The heat settled in my stomach and began its own waltz. Dancing with such ferocious liberty it was oblivious to the limited suroundings. It danced and I waited. My heart took on an even faster rhythm and the fire in my stomach seemed to retaliate. It surged upward with a raw anger burning everything in its path. It slitered back down, but not with out leaving the bitter memory of bile behind. As my world continued to dance in harmony with my beating heart, my brain fought. It fought through the fog it was encased in and told me to "run". "Run! Run!: I go the message but my legs felt planted to the ground. I opened my eyes and looked down surprised to see my own feet dancing. The dancing legs were as one then seperated and joined once more. I willed them to move, yet they wouldnt. My legs proved to be useless, I closed my eyes as my legs united again. With eyes closed I waited. Liquid terror escaped from the newly formed slits on my face. It was a solitary soldier on a slow funeral procession to my dancing lips. It gave me a salty kiss before it fell to a silent death. I tried to run one more time. This time there was movement. The rustling fabric of my pants added a scrape the to the pounding and the rasping. My trembling knees refused any longer to keep me up. Gravity won the fight. My world fell in slow motion. I tumbled for what seemed like an eternity in a vacuum until I became one with the earth. I could not move, the scrape was gone but the pounding grew louder. I lay there and I waited. The rasp came back but I could not close my lips to chase it away. My muscles seemed frozen. With my eyes pinned shut, terror now squeezed from them in streams. The heat left my stomach and waltzed through my body, sending me into convulsions. Pain! It came unknowingly but instantly part of the symphony. I couldnt move and I felt trapped. I was helpless and immobilized. I listened as my rasp became more shallow and my congo drum grew softer. I listened as the beat began to fade and waited..... © 2003 Erica S. N. Cooper This is one of my favorite pieces that I have written. One day it will be in a book :) one day! Hope you enjoyed!